This is difficult...

I've finally managed to gather enough courage to continue watching The Good Wife. I'm watching it incredibly slowly, especially compared to how quickly I went through the first 4 seasons. I'm probably only watching one episode a day.

The first episode I watched after my month long break was "Hitting the Fan" in which Will finds out that Alicia is leaving the firm. I would say that Josh Charles' acting is amazing when walking towards Alicia's office to confront her; he was hurt, sad, and angry, and I could see all that just from the closeup of him walking. Then again, maybe I was seeing what I wanted to see because I really don't know much about good acting vs. bad acting. It was quite unbearable, the breakup. This one actually hurts, unlike the actual breakup of Will and Alicia's relationship. This one is final. The betrayal irrevocable.

If there's one thing I didn't like about the last few episodes I've watched, it's the fact that they focus too much on Lockhart/Gardner vs Florrick/Agos. I understand that it's an interesting dynamic, but there's no way two law firms in a city like Chicago keep going against each other, even if it's partially intentional. It also means that we're missing out on some awesome guest stars that we've had in earlier seasons. Those other lawyers are one of the best things about the show, in my opinion.

Right before I started writing this post, I had watched "The Decision Tree." It's one of the most talked about episodes of season 5, and it lived up to my expectation. Again, I'm quite impressed by Josh Charles, just him sitting there, charting his decision tree. A little look to the distance, holding back a few tears in his eyes; it seemed so subtle and simple, yet so impactful. The thing that I've gotten from the last handful of episodes is how hurt Will really is, while Alicia seems stronger. I know that it was Alicia who left so it makes sense for her to be less distressed, but sometimes it looks like she's not affected at all. It makes her seem cold at times. A part of me wants to see Alicia sadder or remorseful, for what she did to Will. It makes me want to write a fanfiction about it; interestingly, this episode actually feels like (a much better version of) a fanfiction I would write for Will, imagining that Alicia would have been far more rattled than she actually was in court. Just a lot of imagined emotions.

I just don't know if I can go on. I'm only 4-5 episodes away from that episode. It's just very hard to continue watching knowing that something horrible is about to happen. I'm not ready for Josh Charles to leave.

The Good Wife

I haven't really watched any new shows lately, and Agents of SHIELD is the only show I'm following every week. I became interested the The Good Wife because Josh Charles was on Sports Night, one of my favorite shows.

I didn't think I was going to watch this show, so I wasn't too careful about avoiding spoilers. I watched Charles' appearances on late night talk show, in which he talked about...what happened to his character. That, and Julianna Marguiles' Emmy win speech. I didn't think much of it, because I honestly thought I'd learned my lesson after Game of Thrones, to not get too attached to TV characters. I thought I was desensitized by character deaths. I guess I wasn't.

Back to the beginning. Alicia Florrick, wife of disgraced politician who had to go back to work as a lawyer after 14 years of being away, raising her children. 14 years is quite a long time to be away from a profession, and she found it quite difficult to find a job. In comes Will Gardner, played by Josh Charles. He and Alicia were friends when they were in Georgetown. At the beginning, it seemed like they were just close friends who lost touch after law school. But you know they would turn him into a love interest. And, just as expected, I fell in love with Will. Or at least I shipped their pairing. Does that make me the  predictable viewer? They keep dangling their potential relationship to keep me coming back to the show?

In any case, they ended up together, and they ended up breaking up. Again, as you would expected. These things never end well on TV. Honestly, I thought their breakup was the adult, smart thing to do. It was too much for her and she needed to put her children ahead of her own happiness. However, I thought their relationship could have been explored further. Of course, this is the thing that I hate. Or I hate that I love it so much. It's never a clean breakup. They're still hung up on each other, even years later. The thing is, Will has done nothing wrong, in my opinion. Sure he's taken the money but that was 15 years ago and he has done nothing wrong to the people around him. I feel like Alicia has been keeping him on a leash; reels him in, and shuts the door in front of his face, one too many times.

Season 5: Where it all ends

I honestly don't know Alicia's reason to stay with Peter. Then again, the title of the show is The Good Wife. Being the wife is part of who she is. It's good for Peter's political career, but I don't know what good it is for her. That's one of the reasons why I just want her to go back to Will. They were happy together. So what happened at the end of season 4 was devastating. She's really leaving Will this time (his firm, at least), and she's doing it behind his back while stealing his top clients. I'm currently still watching the beginning of season 5. I'm too scared to go on. Will is about to find out that Alicia is leaving and I don't know if I want to see how he'd react. I don't want Will to get his heart broken again.

What's worse is that in about 10 episodes or so, Will will be killed. With Game of Thrones, I avoid spoilers like the plague. Now, I don't know which is worse, getting your favorite killed off when you least expect it, or when you know it's coming. I'm doing the same thing as I did when I was watching the end of Daivd Tennant's run on Doctor Who. I can't watch Will die so I've stopped watching season 5 a few days ago. I don't know if I can continue, but I really want to know what happens. I honestly think that this might be worse, expecting his death. Maybe I should be careful about spoilers not because I like the unexpected, but because knowing hurts more.